Post by caffrey on Aug 28, 2018 17:53:46 GMT -5
The camera opens on an empty ring as the arena begins to fill for tonight’s show. Suddenly, “My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark” hits the speakers as the crowd instinctively boos. Out emerges the bonafide star, Anthony Caffrey, carrying his International Championship above his head. He jaws at the audience as he makes his way down to the ring.
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the International Champion, ANTHONY CAFFREYYYYYY!
The champion kisses his championship as the crowd boos. He takes a microphone and waits for them to stop. He goes to speak.
Crowd: Caffrey sucks! Caffrey sucks!
Caffrey pauses and lets the crowd continue. He laughs as the crowd continues.
Caffrey: Are you done?
The crowd boos louder, going into the chanting again. Caffrey turns and walks over to the announcer, whispering something into their ear.
Announcer: Please welcome, the INTERNATIONAL CHAMPION, the IRONMAN, Anthony Caffrey!
Caffrey mocks the crowd as the crowd tries to continue. He cuts them off.
Caffrey: That’s enough. No one paid to hear what any of you have to say.
The crowd chant “Caffrey sucks” as he keeps going.
Caffrey: Ladies and gentlemen, when I proclaimed on Michael Brewer’s birthday that real competition had arrived, I meant it. And as you can see, I just taught a rookie a very valuable lesson. You see, Wellington, you might be the Glasgow Bull… but after Sunday, the GWA just saw that if you mess with the bull, you don’t get the horns, you get the shiny.
Caffrey holds the belt with one hand by the top of the strap, displaying the championship next to his face.
Caffrey: You see, Wellington, you don’t have to respond to every bit of criticism like your life depends on it. I mean, unless a World Championship opportunity hangs in the balance and your name is Dylan Black. Then you gotta talk because the wrasslin’ certainly doesn’t back your case.
The crowd boos Caffrey’s cheap shot. He laughs.
Caffrey: I hear Dylan almost survived Max Rex’s 10-minute challenge. Unfortunately for Dylan, and just like all of you losers who almost get a big promotion at work, almost is only good in horseshoes and handgrenades. So boom.
Caffrey jokingly bangs on his championship with the microphone.
Caffrey: Wellington, you took an ass kicking and kept coming back, and as both the Sixty Minute Man, and the Ironman, myself, I might have to give you a little bit of props. You stupidly walked into the arena and picked me to defend against and you almost caught me. And just like that, your reign is over with. It's like you. It's Dunne. Oh and hey, there’s that word again. Almost. Heh.
Caffrey smiles. He is clearly in a good mood.
Caffrey: Come to think of it, at least you had some balls and didn’t have to spin a giant sack of shit story about who you wanted to defend the championship against. You hit hard, but go ask the rest of the GWA lockerroom what happens to hardhitters when they fight me: they get tired. I will rope-a-dope like you for forty-five minutes a night in every city we go to.
Caffrey: There is a goddamn reason that I am considered the greatest technical wrestler in GWA history. You wanna know why, Dunne? Go ask your ankle. And then Sheath’s. And Brewer’s. And well… nearly everyone on the roster.
Caffrey: Then go ask everyone who the smartest wrestler in the GWA is. And let me tell you something, it certainly ain’t Dexter Point.
The crowd pops loudly for the Dexter Point reference. Caffrey does a Dexter impression.
Caffrey: ‘I use a calculator and wear glasses because I can’t see shit, so I’m smart.’ Dumbass.
The crowd, dying for a Dexter Point return, boos Caffrey loudly.
Caffrey: You all hear me talk, hell for crying out loud Darksyde and Johnny Bulldog make me sound like a Rhodes Scholar. You can go ask anyone in the back, the parking lot, the arena we were in last week, I am the most intelligent man in GWA.
Caffrey: So let’s recap the class superlatives here… the most intelligent, the greatest technical wrestler, the most ankles broken, did I mention I just WON THE TRIPLE GODDAMN CROWN?
Caffrey bangs into the championship again as the crowd boos. We see Caffrey’s shiny nameplate stand out.
Caffrey: The bonafide star, the most intelligent, the greatest technical wrestler in GWA history, the most ankles broken, the TRIPLE CROWN winner, the man with the most submission victories in GWA history, the Sixty Minute Man, the Perfect Asshole, Mr. Always Right, the Destroyer of Trash Mountain, the Man with No Heart, the Ironman, the Unlegend...AAAANDDDD THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS CHAMPION IN ALL OF THE GWA, THE INTERNATIONAL CHAMPIOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNN…
The crowd boos loudly as Caffrey rallies off self-given nicknames.
Caffrey: ANTHONYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY CAFFFFFFFFREYYYYYYYYYYY!
Caffrey drops the microphone and holds up the championship with one arm outstretched. He bangs on his nameplate with his hand to give everyone the bigger picture: the nameplate's not coming off anytime soon.
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the International Champion, ANTHONY CAFFREYYYYYY!
The champion kisses his championship as the crowd boos. He takes a microphone and waits for them to stop. He goes to speak.
Crowd: Caffrey sucks! Caffrey sucks!
Caffrey pauses and lets the crowd continue. He laughs as the crowd continues.
Caffrey: Are you done?
The crowd boos louder, going into the chanting again. Caffrey turns and walks over to the announcer, whispering something into their ear.
Announcer: Please welcome, the INTERNATIONAL CHAMPION, the IRONMAN, Anthony Caffrey!
Caffrey mocks the crowd as the crowd tries to continue. He cuts them off.
Caffrey: That’s enough. No one paid to hear what any of you have to say.
The crowd chant “Caffrey sucks” as he keeps going.
Caffrey: Ladies and gentlemen, when I proclaimed on Michael Brewer’s birthday that real competition had arrived, I meant it. And as you can see, I just taught a rookie a very valuable lesson. You see, Wellington, you might be the Glasgow Bull… but after Sunday, the GWA just saw that if you mess with the bull, you don’t get the horns, you get the shiny.
Caffrey holds the belt with one hand by the top of the strap, displaying the championship next to his face.
Caffrey: You see, Wellington, you don’t have to respond to every bit of criticism like your life depends on it. I mean, unless a World Championship opportunity hangs in the balance and your name is Dylan Black. Then you gotta talk because the wrasslin’ certainly doesn’t back your case.
The crowd boos Caffrey’s cheap shot. He laughs.
Caffrey: I hear Dylan almost survived Max Rex’s 10-minute challenge. Unfortunately for Dylan, and just like all of you losers who almost get a big promotion at work, almost is only good in horseshoes and handgrenades. So boom.
Caffrey jokingly bangs on his championship with the microphone.
Caffrey: Wellington, you took an ass kicking and kept coming back, and as both the Sixty Minute Man, and the Ironman, myself, I might have to give you a little bit of props. You stupidly walked into the arena and picked me to defend against and you almost caught me. And just like that, your reign is over with. It's like you. It's Dunne. Oh and hey, there’s that word again. Almost. Heh.
Caffrey smiles. He is clearly in a good mood.
Caffrey: Come to think of it, at least you had some balls and didn’t have to spin a giant sack of shit story about who you wanted to defend the championship against. You hit hard, but go ask the rest of the GWA lockerroom what happens to hardhitters when they fight me: they get tired. I will rope-a-dope like you for forty-five minutes a night in every city we go to.
Caffrey: There is a goddamn reason that I am considered the greatest technical wrestler in GWA history. You wanna know why, Dunne? Go ask your ankle. And then Sheath’s. And Brewer’s. And well… nearly everyone on the roster.
Caffrey: Then go ask everyone who the smartest wrestler in the GWA is. And let me tell you something, it certainly ain’t Dexter Point.
The crowd pops loudly for the Dexter Point reference. Caffrey does a Dexter impression.
Caffrey: ‘I use a calculator and wear glasses because I can’t see shit, so I’m smart.’ Dumbass.
The crowd, dying for a Dexter Point return, boos Caffrey loudly.
Caffrey: You all hear me talk, hell for crying out loud Darksyde and Johnny Bulldog make me sound like a Rhodes Scholar. You can go ask anyone in the back, the parking lot, the arena we were in last week, I am the most intelligent man in GWA.
Caffrey: So let’s recap the class superlatives here… the most intelligent, the greatest technical wrestler, the most ankles broken, did I mention I just WON THE TRIPLE GODDAMN CROWN?
Caffrey bangs into the championship again as the crowd boos. We see Caffrey’s shiny nameplate stand out.
Caffrey: The bonafide star, the most intelligent, the greatest technical wrestler in GWA history, the most ankles broken, the TRIPLE CROWN winner, the man with the most submission victories in GWA history, the Sixty Minute Man, the Perfect Asshole, Mr. Always Right, the Destroyer of Trash Mountain, the Man with No Heart, the Ironman, the Unlegend...AAAANDDDD THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS CHAMPION IN ALL OF THE GWA, THE INTERNATIONAL CHAMPIOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNN…
The crowd boos loudly as Caffrey rallies off self-given nicknames.
Caffrey: ANTHONYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY CAFFFFFFFFREYYYYYYYYYYY!
Caffrey drops the microphone and holds up the championship with one arm outstretched. He bangs on his nameplate with his hand to give everyone the bigger picture: the nameplate's not coming off anytime soon.